Staples Out and Getting Organised Again!

Today (29.09.17) I had 26  staples removed from my leg.... I was so apprehensive about this it was unreal. I thought I would prepare myself with a relaxation tape. I have listened to this one many times before and I love the steam train that arrives at a busy platform just for me whilst everyone else is in the daily hustle and bustle of going to work......

I informed the nurse that I am really anxious about having the staples removed. She asks why and I explained it's because I have never had them before and I was the same the first time I ever had stitches removed but for some strange reason this was a new all high level of anxiety. I asked for a sick bowl as although I felt sick and I knew I probably wouldn't be but I didn't want to risk the embarrassment of being sick everywhere.

I was asked how many staples I had in my leg.... I have no idea what lies beneath the dressing so it was going to be a surprise for both her and myself. As soon as the dressing was  removed I was busy counting the staples... I had watched the Youtube videos about clips being removed and was informed that you needed to count the clips to ensure they were all removed... 26 and oh no I could see some staples that were really close together and one that looked deep buried within my leg..

****************************WARNING********************************************
*************Look away if you don't want to see the staples in my leg or my hairy leg**********

26 Staples to be removed!

So she explains what she was going to do... yup I know.. I have watched three YouTube videos to make sure that she knew what she was doing... Deep down I knew she did but I guess I needed reassurance for myself that she did. Deep breath Louise... come on you have got this... the first one wasn't too bad although I could see a bit of blood! The clippers had to go under the staple to cut it and then wiggle them out. Most of them didn't hurt but the closer she got to the one that says ouch..... it was becoming quite tender and then OMFG that hurt. Tears silently appeared and as she went to touch it, I screamed. It was way too painful. Thoughts running through my head... I can live with one staple in my body... if it means you don't have to touch it. The nurse was great and very caring. I shall start taking some out from the top to let it settle a bit but I won't start until you are ready... Bad move.... am I ever going to be ready? Do I just want to wait forever and my time run out and hope that the next patient will be seen? Nope... I am ready just get on with it, the quicker they are out I can get home and relax... So much for the relaxation tape... mind you I was more relaxed than when I started it was just every now and again some of them were really painful. The one that was buried (marked by the ouch sign above) was the most painful. It felt as though she was literally digging that bugger out of my knee to get underneath it to get it out. Obviously, I know she wasn't but this was how I felt at the time. Re-assurance was given I am so sorry that I have to do this but we are over half-way. We maybe but this isn't helping as I know I still have the ones that are so close together and these can be tricky.

Last one... hurrah thanks Carole you did a great job... I am so sorry I screamed on that awful one. Yeah that's them all out.... well I hope they are she said... Please don't tell me that now I am going to have to inspect it more closely to double check... Did you not count them as they were coming out.. the Youtube video said count them before, as you take them out and also what is in the pot! She offers me the opportunity to take them home... er no thanks as if I count them and one is missing I am not sure how I would handle it... Plus what am I going to do with them? Put them in a little pot and rattle them around and show everyone at the dinner table? No thanks you are OK you can throw them away. 

I have further dressings that need to be taken off... I hope these are just steristrips as I have three more dressings!! Wahooooo they are... result. One site has a bit of bruising.... that was from where they took the stem cells from and the others were nothing to write home about...

So new dressings are applied and I have to book an appointment for the end of next week. I am given advice if I have any concerns about the dressings and the sites and what to do if this and that happens. She gave re-assurance and informed me this was highly unlikely to happen but I needed to know just incase. 

It was quite draining but I had hope to meet a friend for a coffee as he too has recently undergone major surgery. Like me, he cannot drive so good old mum picks us both up and drops us off at the coffee shop. Here we exchanged tales about our recent surgery and that we were not going to rush back to work too soon and do everything we needed to do. It was so nice to see Chris and I just love his positive outlook on life. 

After coffee/lunch I was going to Canterbury with my mum to return my wheelchair but I was so tired from the adrenaline that had been oozing around my body since last night, I had tired myself out. So a little afternoon nap was had... and boy oh boy did I need it as tonight I was going out for 'Supervision' with the girls!!

I had such a wonderful night with Ashmore, Liz T and Fi it was unreal. You can tell they are mums as they fussed around me in a nice way.. Can I do this? OMG are you OK? What do you need me to do? Nothing I am good thanks but if you could move that chair back a bit that would be great.... In other words, back off and don't touch my leg as if you move it wrong I will be sick! It's strange as I am sure they are more than capable of helping me but I don't want anyone touching it. I have my leg up on the chair placed next to me for the starter. I am holding my leg and Fi is obviously concerned that I am holding it... I give her reassurance to say.. it is OK.. it doesn't hurt... I am just hiding my hairy legs! OMG... worst mistake ever as Fi says oh you can't see them... liar lair pants are on fire and then she proceeds to stroke my leg and says oh look it's like a cat.... yeah cheers for that Fi! 

I move my leg under the table for the main meal as I am supposed to have it down but didn't want to struggle and not enjoy the meal... WOW.... my leg is bending with a lot more ease now that the staples are out.. plus we are laughing and chatting I forget about the leg for a bit and manage to bend it a little bit more so it makes sitting at the table more comfortable. 

It's always lovely to go out with these guys as no matter how great or bad your day has been you always know that you are in for a good night. Tonight was amazing lots of laughter and no tears. Double celebrations for people getting new jobs. I couldn't be prouder of these amazing ladies who have become such wonderful friends over the years. Thanks guys for being you.... 

Oh and Liz has taken on the role of organising our Christmas Party this year... so out comes the menu and Bob's your Uncle we have decided our meals.... We need to have another catch up before then as there is a lot of planning that goes into nights out... sometimes you have pre-planning meetings for the planning meeting.. we laugh loads about previous adventures and sleeping arrangements or lack of them for some due to the hustle and bustle of the use of the bathroom! Our Liverpool adventure and the need to plan new adventures in 2018.

I have also been busy planning my food for next week as I am starting the Food For Fitness 30 Day Challenge on Monday.... I so cannot wait so my shopping will arrive over the weekend so that I am all good to start.

Goodnight as one now needs sleep after such a busy day. 

Re-Starting My Blog

Well I never thought I would be writing a blog again. To be totally honest I had forgotten all about this blog until someone said... oh you should write one!

So it is Friday 29th September 2017.... Oh boy it's been over 6 years since I last wrote anything... well not literally anything but since I last wrote on this blog...

It is 05:24 and what does the 0 stand for? OMG it's early... Why am I awake? Well I have been awake for a couple of hours now. My brain is active from reading my previous attempt of writing a blog and it has really motivated me in getting fit.... Remember the advice you gave yourself Louise... LISTEN TO YOUR BODY!! Here I am lying in bed in a brace as I have just had surgery to my knee on 15th September. I had my ACL reconstructed using my hamstring tendon and I have had 2 stem cell grafts:- one to the medial trochlea and the other to the medial femoral condyle (MFC)

My knee has been in this brace ever since I was discharged from hospital..... I had to keep my knee locked in extension for 1 week but mine was like this for 12 days. I lived in fear and paranoia as to whether my leg was straight.. have I bent it? I was petrified that if I did anything wrong the graft was not going to work.

I have been in pain since March 2016 with my knee.... if only they had listened to me when I walked through the doors to the hospital department the day I injured myself... I think this is where I go wrong as I walk! I am told the usual it's just a soft tissue injury. What is that anyway? It can take 6 weeks to heal... Seriously... I know my body... I have learnt to listen to my body over the years, I know how it feels and this isn't right! So the long battle starts.... painkillers, anti-inflammatory tablets, stronger painkillers.. a familiar story that I am so aware of... more so now I have read my previous blog pages from when I ended up with a Grade 4 stress fracture and they told me the same thing!

I managed to convince my consultant to perform an arthroscopy in January 2017... despite the MRI scan and the pain I was in... I was told you don't need surgery... The MRI scan said that I had ruptured my ACL, sprained my MCL, had a complex tear in the posterior horn of the meniscus, had some form of effusion going on (water on the knee:- oh this can be due to a injury to the ligaments or meniscus... funny that!) and bruising on the femoral condyle.

So during my arthroscopy I have bucket handle tear- partial meniscectomy, complete ACL tear, f/t cartilage loss trochlea.... chondroplasty MFC.

I remember going for my check-up after my meniscus is fixed and the surgeon's face was a picture when he was showing me the 20+ photos of my knee... I felt like saying... ' I told you so' but I didn't.. at long last they now realise the extent of the damage I have done and I am being referred to the Royal National Orthopaedic Hospital in Stanmore.

In the interim... due to having to over compensate and more driving on a daily basis I injure my ankle on my other leg... and the story starts again..... It is a soft tissue injury... OK... it maybe but it's not your average soft tissue injury of a sprain. And surprise surprise... more painkillers, then stronger ones and anti-inflammatory tablets... you must get the picture by now... back and forth to the doctors, walk-in clinics when the pain in unbearable... finally my MRI results come through... Guess what? Go on have a guess...... the conclusion of the MRI was:-
1:- Suspicion of distal tibialis posterior partial tear and torn spring ligament.
2:- Tendinosis of the Achilles tendon.
3:- Oedematous change at the superior peroneal retinaculum with intact appearance of the peroneal tendons.

I had physio on Tuesday and I was so nervous it was unreal. My body felt as though it was shutting down. Stand-up Louise... OK I can do this.. I have done it before... put your operated leg on the floor... OK... this I can do but no weight was going to go through that leg! Crutches gripped as tight as I could possibly hold them and all my weight going through my old dodgy knee! The physio educates me about protected walking and now she wants me to give it ago... I lift my operated leg up like she told me to and step through the crutches... well that bit didn't happen.. my leg lifted off the floor but seriously you want me to step on it... no way... What if the graft comes off? What if I put too much weight on it? I try to do it.. but nope it's just not happening.. My walking gait is so bad at the moment as I am not managing to step pass the line with my good leg out of fear I will put too much weight on the operated leg. Sweat is pouring out my palms... this is making me even more anxious as I am like sh*t I won't be able to grip hold of my crutches... I am asked how much weight is going through my operated leg... I have no idea.... I know not all of my weight.... re-assurance is given that hardly any is as I am so tense the physio can tell... relax your shoulders, head up... It's not as though I normally look at my feet when I walk so why am I doing it now? Fear that is why.

I walk back to the couch and I am like yeah great... Leg up and I have to complete the simplest of exercises...Brace your knee downwards and pull your foot towards you... I need to develop my quads.. These have been destroyed during surgery (only temporarily I would like to add!) Oh I can see them move a little but nothing like my other leg which I have been working on alongside developing the muscles in my operated leg... Bit of a nightmare when you are ACL deficient in the leg that most of your weight is going through!

OMG... the next bit hurt but it was a strange kind of hurt.. Closed chain knee flexion and extension exercise.... Bend your knee Louise.... OMG... I task that I would normally find so simple was so difficult it was unreal!! Despite having knee surgery before and not being able to fully bend the knee straight away this was like.... come on you can do it... With all the will and effort in the world and turning my face red and gripping on the side of the bed. I think it moved all of 2-3 degrees... To be honest... I am not sure if it even moved that far!

I just remember promising the physio that I was going to work really hard to develop my quads and bend that knee!

So everyday since my physio session, I have done all of my exercises and continued to improve bending my knee. My inspiration at times has come from Lizzie Ashmore.. she has no idea what an inspiration she is... Lizzie had a stroke ( about 3 years ago) and had to re-learn to walk. I knew it must have been such hard work for her but it's only now do I truly appreciate the determination and strength she has found within herself to carry on and re-educate herself to complete such basic daily tasks. Lizzie writes an amazing blog about her own recovery... She gives such an honest account and has an amazing writing style... Her blog can be found at http://trainigforamarathon.blogspot.co.uk/2017/09/too-loud.html?m=1

Anyway back to today Friday 29th September... EEEKKKK. I am having my clips removed today. I am feeling a bit queasy about this as I have never had clips before... I shall probably have to sit on my hands as I am worried I will pull the nurses hands away. I am sure once one clip has been removed I will be fine. My dad has tried to give me reassurance as he had clips when he had his knee replacement and he said clips are easier to be taken out... I may take my headphones and listen to some relaxing music whilst they are taken out.