So it is Friday 29th September 2017.... Oh boy it's been over 6 years since I last wrote anything... well not literally anything but since I last wrote on this blog...
It is 05:24 and what does the 0 stand for? OMG it's early... Why am I awake? Well I have been awake for a couple of hours now. My brain is active from reading my previous attempt of writing a blog and it has really motivated me in getting fit.... Remember the advice you gave yourself Louise... LISTEN TO YOUR BODY!! Here I am lying in bed in a brace as I have just had surgery to my knee on 15th September. I had my ACL reconstructed using my hamstring tendon and I have had 2 stem cell grafts:- one to the medial trochlea and the other to the medial femoral condyle (MFC)
My knee has been in this brace ever since I was discharged from hospital..... I had to keep my knee locked in extension for 1 week but mine was like this for 12 days. I lived in fear and paranoia as to whether my leg was straight.. have I bent it? I was petrified that if I did anything wrong the graft was not going to work.
I have been in pain since March 2016 with my knee.... if only they had listened to me when I walked through the doors to the hospital department the day I injured myself... I think this is where I go wrong as I walk! I am told the usual it's just a soft tissue injury. What is that anyway? It can take 6 weeks to heal... Seriously... I know my body... I have learnt to listen to my body over the years, I know how it feels and this isn't right! So the long battle starts.... painkillers, anti-inflammatory tablets, stronger painkillers.. a familiar story that I am so aware of... more so now I have read my previous blog pages from when I ended up with a Grade 4 stress fracture and they told me the same thing!
I managed to convince my consultant to perform an arthroscopy in January 2017... despite the MRI scan and the pain I was in... I was told you don't need surgery... The MRI scan said that I had ruptured my ACL, sprained my MCL, had a complex tear in the posterior horn of the meniscus, had some form of effusion going on (water on the knee:- oh this can be due to a injury to the ligaments or meniscus... funny that!) and bruising on the femoral condyle.
So during my arthroscopy I have bucket handle tear- partial meniscectomy, complete ACL tear, f/t cartilage loss trochlea.... chondroplasty MFC.
I remember going for my check-up after my meniscus is fixed and the surgeon's face was a picture when he was showing me the 20+ photos of my knee... I felt like saying... ' I told you so' but I didn't.. at long last they now realise the extent of the damage I have done and I am being referred to the Royal National Orthopaedic Hospital in Stanmore.
In the interim... due to having to over compensate and more driving on a daily basis I injure my ankle on my other leg... and the story starts again..... It is a soft tissue injury... OK... it maybe but it's not your average soft tissue injury of a sprain. And surprise surprise... more painkillers, then stronger ones and anti-inflammatory tablets... you must get the picture by now... back and forth to the doctors, walk-in clinics when the pain in unbearable... finally my MRI results come through... Guess what? Go on have a guess...... the conclusion of the MRI was:-
1:- Suspicion of distal tibialis posterior partial tear and torn spring ligament.
2:- Tendinosis of the Achilles tendon.
3:- Oedematous change at the superior peroneal retinaculum with intact appearance of the peroneal tendons.
I had physio on Tuesday and I was so nervous it was unreal. My body felt as though it was shutting down. Stand-up Louise... OK I can do this.. I have done it before... put your operated leg on the floor... OK... this I can do but no weight was going to go through that leg! Crutches gripped as tight as I could possibly hold them and all my weight going through my old dodgy knee! The physio educates me about protected walking and now she wants me to give it ago... I lift my operated leg up like she told me to and step through the crutches... well that bit didn't happen.. my leg lifted off the floor but seriously you want me to step on it... no way... What if the graft comes off? What if I put too much weight on it? I try to do it.. but nope it's just not happening.. My walking gait is so bad at the moment as I am not managing to step pass the line with my good leg out of fear I will put too much weight on the operated leg. Sweat is pouring out my palms... this is making me even more anxious as I am like sh*t I won't be able to grip hold of my crutches... I am asked how much weight is going through my operated leg... I have no idea.... I know not all of my weight.... re-assurance is given that hardly any is as I am so tense the physio can tell... relax your shoulders, head up... It's not as though I normally look at my feet when I walk so why am I doing it now? Fear that is why.
I walk back to the couch and I am like yeah great... Leg up and I have to complete the simplest of exercises...Brace your knee downwards and pull your foot towards you... I need to develop my quads.. These have been destroyed during surgery (only temporarily I would like to add!) Oh I can see them move a little but nothing like my other leg which I have been working on alongside developing the muscles in my operated leg... Bit of a nightmare when you are ACL deficient in the leg that most of your weight is going through!
OMG... the next bit hurt but it was a strange kind of hurt.. Closed chain knee flexion and extension exercise.... Bend your knee Louise.... OMG... I task that I would normally find so simple was so difficult it was unreal!! Despite having knee surgery before and not being able to fully bend the knee straight away this was like.... come on you can do it... With all the will and effort in the world and turning my face red and gripping on the side of the bed. I think it moved all of 2-3 degrees... To be honest... I am not sure if it even moved that far!
I just remember promising the physio that I was going to work really hard to develop my quads and bend that knee!
So everyday since my physio session, I have done all of my exercises and continued to improve bending my knee. My inspiration at times has come from Lizzie Ashmore.. she has no idea what an inspiration she is... Lizzie had a stroke ( about 3 years ago) and had to re-learn to walk. I knew it must have been such hard work for her but it's only now do I truly appreciate the determination and strength she has found within herself to carry on and re-educate herself to complete such basic daily tasks. Lizzie writes an amazing blog about her own recovery... She gives such an honest account and has an amazing writing style... Her blog can be found at http://trainigforamarathon.blogspot.co.uk/2017/09/too-loud.html?m=1
Anyway back to today Friday 29th September... EEEKKKK. I am having my clips removed today. I am feeling a bit queasy about this as I have never had clips before... I shall probably have to sit on my hands as I am worried I will pull the nurses hands away. I am sure once one clip has been removed I will be fine. My dad has tried to give me reassurance as he had clips when he had his knee replacement and he said clips are easier to be taken out... I may take my headphones and listen to some relaxing music whilst they are taken out.
No comments:
Post a Comment